Thank you, Ms. Foster!

I know this is a few days behind the curve, but I have my reasons. At first, my reaction to this little display was one of indifference. “About time!” and “Duh!” were my only thoughts on the subject. When the video as a whole finally sank into my subconscious, the righteous indignation began to take form.

Dear Jodie,

We get it. The mean, crazy man stalked you when you were a teenager and tried to kill a President for you, and it was all scary and traumatic. We feel bad. But Jesus Christ, it wasn’t even one of the good Presidents. Also, it was more than 30 years ago.

That said, I sort of understand why you demand so much privacy, though I’m unsure if you realize that maybe show business is not the best line of work for someone so fragile. Maybe you could raise horses on a secluded ranch in New Mexico, or perhaps try your hand at work-from-home data entry? No?

All right then. We will all try to reconcile your need for “privacy” with your starring in Hollywood movies and attending a lot of fancy awards shows. But there’s something else I don’t understand.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. I would have possibly been willing to overlook that as well (though countless celebrities with bigger balls than you did it long ago with no problems), and reasoned that maybe you were trying to be “clever” and “original” about it. But you weren’t. You mainly just looked nervous and annoyed.

And not only could you not say the words, but–the unforgiveable part–you compared those who’ve come out before you (Neil Patrick Harris, Ricky Martin, Cynthia Nixon,Wanda Sykes, Rosie O’Donnell, Lance Bass, Sarah Gilbert, Frank Ocean, Anderson Cooper, Ellen Degeneres, ad infinitum) to fucking Honey Boo Boo. That was a low blow, and was completely uncalled for.

No one was asking for a press conference. No one wants a reality show. No one is demanding that cameras force their way into your home and record your most private lesbian moments. We were just asking for some honesty. Do you really not see the difference?

You live in a country where gay teens are constantly bullied and beaten, many of whom feel their only option is suicide. On a larger scale, we live in a world where many countries still outlaw homosexuality to the point of imprisonment and capital punishment. We have a long way to go before gays and lesbians feel comfortable with themselves and the world they live in. Celebrities like you (and others mentioned) can play an enormous part in giving gays a tiny bit of hope. Is that really too much to ask of you?

You chose the public spotlight. You continue to choose it every time you get in front of a camera in a movie or an awards show. If you wanted to shrink away from it after the whole Hinckley affair, you could have. So spare us the “Leave me alone!” crap. Really.

Also, you should know that seeing the anti-semitic homophobe Mel Gibson whistling for you likely turned a lot of gays off. It may be none of our business who your friends are, but it doesn’t help your cause to remain loyal to that drunken scumbag. Maybe at least ask the camera people not to pan across to his repulsive face next time? See what you can do.

So thanks, but no thanks.