*This meal looks fancy, but is super easy and fast. If you’re looking to impress someone but don’t have a lot of time and don’t like to sweat a lot in the kitchen, this is a good idea.
*This meal is for two, because usually that’s all I have to cook for. Just double up if you’re cooking for 4.
Warning: Creepiness at Link
During my childhood, my parents would often allow my siblings and I to each choose a video to rent either on Friday or Saturday night. My mother would make one of our favorite meals (homemade pizza, burritos, spaghetti, etc.), and we would spend Friday and/or Saturday nights watching the movies we had rented. To this day, it is one of my coziest memories. What would happen periodically when watching those movies, however, illustrates the point I am about to make.
As most children do, we loved horror films, and our parents would allow us to rent them. We watched so many I wouldn’t even be able to account for all of them. There were exceptions, though; my parents had a very low tolerance for four-letter words, and a strict no-nudity policy. A movie would instantly be turned off if any nude body parts were shown. “Dirty” words usually were tolerated a bit more, but not by much. The first time the F-word or something similar was uttered, my father would groan. The second time, he would complain audibly, usually stating “One more time and it goes off.” The third time, he would hit the stop button on the remote. This time we would groan that it “wasn’t fair” and usually insist that our friends all got to watch the movie. This was never a tactic that worked. To this day, there are a lot of 80’s movies of which I have only seen about fifteen minutes.
Let me begin by admitting that I have never read the following works either. I may have attempted some of them, but didn’t finish a single one. Also, please don’t try and convince me that you’ve read any of the following from cover to cover. I will stubbornly refuse to believe you. It is a far, far greater thing for some pretentious douchebag to think you illiterate, than to be a pretentious douchebag yourself.
[Please don’t get your panties in a bundle. This is just for fun.]
This will be the first installment in a series called “Creepy Bible Stories.” The story of Lot and of “Sodom and Gomorrah” begins a full 18 chapters into the bible, so I’m skipping over quite a bit of creepiness just to get to it first. Given that it is probably the story most often mentioned when ignorant homophobes want to denigrate gays, I thought I would jump in with some facts.
Turn with me, if you will, to Genesis Chapter 18.
Towards the end of this chapter, we see Abraham arguing with God over a city called Sodom. Sodom apparently is a very, very naughty city (what with sodomy being named after it and all). As the Old Testament God is frequently given to temper tantrums and fits of violent, destructive rage (see an earlier story about a man and an ark), he really wants to fire-bomb Sodom. Abraham, voicing the sentiment felt by any sane reader of the bible, asks God why he would destroy the good with the wicked.
If I were straight, this woman and I would likely be married and featured on an episode of Animal Hoarding.
Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: By Alison Arngrim
I decided recently that I should be reading more non-fiction. Surely history, travel guides, and memoirs would offer me a much more broad experience in the human condition than made-up stories. I love reading fiction, but I wanted to learn and to grow. I also wanted to read something high-brow. So, of course, my first choice was the biography of Alison Arngrim, who played Nellie Oleson on Little House on the Prairie.
Angela’s Ashes it is not, but that is not Arngrim’s fault. We can’t all have the luxury of growing up poor in Ireland just to write a best-seller. She works with what she has, though. And it is a surprisingly good read.