I hesitated writing this review for a couple of reasons. First, I originally had no intention of writing reviews for first-run movies when I started this blog. Everyone with a blog writes first-run movie reviews, and I wanted to be more original by reviewing documentaries and campy made-for-TV movies. Next, I also hesitated because I didn’t want my thoughts to linger unnecessarily on what was essentially the cinematic equivalent of being anally raped by a pineapple.
But then I decided to do the noble thing: warn the public. If I stop even one of you from experiencing this pineapple-ass-rape, I will have acheived my goal.
Because I can’t bring myself to write a complete narrative, I will deliver some important bullet points about this “film.”
